Snarky Answer Contest
This post is a result of a comment our 27 year old daughter made today. Since she has a rather youthful appearance, she is often asked by people coming to the door if her parents are home. She does not find this question either amusing or flattering. My co-worker and I started bantering ideas back and forth for humorous ways to answer such questions, and I decided it might be fun to open it up to other suggestions.
I don’t know if there will be a prize for this contest yet, other than the fun of participating and reading, but I haven’t ruled out the idea of awarding the best answer something tangible. Please offer your suggestion by adding a comment, and try to keep the language to a PG-13 rating for some of our more sensitive readers.
Our daughter’s first idea was to break down sobbing and say, “No, they were killed yesterday in a car accident!”
We came up with a few more.
“Are you with the police?”
“Yes, but they’re in the BDSM Dungeon, and hate being interrupted.”
“Yes, unfortunately. Are you the Ghostbuster we called to get rid of them?”
“Yes, they are. Let me get them for you.” (Calls the dogs. They have two Corgis.)
“Why? What did my brother do this time? Kill another door-to-door salesman?”
“No, I sold them on Craigslist! You’d be amazed at what you can get for a pair of healthy, middle-aged white folks these days!”
Have fun. Make us laugh. More important, make our daughter laugh.
This post is a result of a comment our 27 year old daughter made today. Since she has a rather youthful appearance, she is often asked by people coming to the door if her parents are home. She does not find this question either amusing or flattering. My co-worker and I started bantering ideas back and forth for humorous ways to answer such questions, and I decided it might be fun to open it up to other suggestions.
I don’t know if there will be a prize for this contest yet, other than the fun of participating and reading, but I haven’t ruled out the idea of awarding the best answer something tangible. Please offer your suggestion by adding a comment, and try to keep the language to a PG-13 rating for some of our more sensitive readers.
Our daughter’s first idea was to break down sobbing and say, “No, they were killed yesterday in a car accident!”
We came up with a few more.
“Are you with the police?”
“Yes, but they’re in the BDSM Dungeon, and hate being interrupted.”
“Yes, unfortunately. Are you the Ghostbuster we called to get rid of them?”
“Yes, they are. Let me get them for you.” (Calls the dogs. They have two Corgis.)
“Why? What did my brother do this time? Kill another door-to-door salesman?”
“No, I sold them on Craigslist! You’d be amazed at what you can get for a pair of healthy, middle-aged white folks these days!”
Have fun. Make us laugh. More important, make our daughter laugh.
14 comments:
*widen eyes* Oh my god. I forgot to let them out of their cages for supper last night. *slam door and run away*
"I don't know, the dog hasn't dug them up again, has he?"
They're down in the gun range, practicing with the new AK-47s they got for Christmas.
I don't know, but if you wanted to see them, why are you coming to my place?
No, they're not here. They're at the library, interviewing babysitters for me. Should be back soon..
Why? Do I live here?
*pointing to an urn by the doorway* "Yes, but we're going to take them to the ocean on Spring Break."
Bottom lip starts to tremble and raises voice, "Why do you people keep interrogating me? Stop bothering me!"
(Leave one of those big fake knives near the door.. in plan sight)
She grabs her head in her hand, eyes wide, while laughing fiendishly, "Not any more..ha ha ha ha"
Pup, they wouldn't need a big, fake knife. They have loads of impressive real ones!
"I'm not sure, lets drive over to their house and see." say this as you lock your door and hop into their car. or.....
"Shhhh... they're sold out right now, come back in an hour and they'll have some for you."
"I don't know...let me see."
Walk to phone, pick it up and dial. Wait a minute, then say:
"Mom? Are you and Dad home?"
"I don't know. Are YOUR parents at home?"
"Let's just say that America's Ten Most Wanted" list is down to eight."
-Mariane Holbrook
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